| | Well it's a well deserved question. With a not so happy answer.
I am now single.
Yep, that's right. Single.
Things are a bit fuzzy and in limbo still, but I guess I'll be alright. I guess I'll give a little synopsis...
Things hadn't been going so well between my fiance and myself. It wasn't really that things were bad, they just weren't good. Definitely not well enough to get married. My ex has been seeing a counselor few a few months and he has been on meds for depression for a couple weeks now. He just became a different person than the one i fell in love with. It's not just that he became depressed and I'm not being there for him. He had several surgeries last year and we've been through a lot together and I was there for him through all of that stuff without hesitation. This was a long, ongoing thing (a year at least) with many reasons why we should not be married to each other.
It ended in December, right before Christmas so the holiday season was just a very sad time for me. Especially since I didn't have the money to travel to see my family and we missed out on Christmas with his family as well. And though he was the one to actually break up with me, he says he didn't mean it and never wanted to lose me and he still wants to be together. I still care about him and I want him to be happy, but I realized that I hadn't been truly happy with him for sometime. He just has some things he needs to work on. He needs to be happy with himself before he can have a healthy relationship with another person.
Unfortunately, we had started integrating our lives since we were heading for marriage. Luckily, we weren't living together, but we still share a phone plan and i'm driving his car. (He has a truck that he drives.) But I moved to another state to be with him and I'm on a lease here until August. And then I don't know where I'm going to go as my immediate family isn't an option. (that's a completely different story.) I guess I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it.
And since I was no longer getting married anytime soon, there wasn't much need for this wedding xanga. I sometimes find myself still looking at wedding sites like Weddingbee. I have an $800 dress sitting in my closet. It's still very sad. I may occasionally post something here, but probably not very often.
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| | Posted 2/25/2008 10:41 PM - 52 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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